


The Chase

by Creepy_Crawl3r



Series: Thorki Drabbles [1]
Category: Thor (Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Drug Addiction, Drug Withdrawal, Drug dealer Thor, Implied/Referenced Underage Sex, Loki and Thor Are Not Related, Loki needs help, Loki obviously is a little messed up, M/M, Recreational Drug Use, References to Depression, References to Drugs, Self-Hatred, Suicidal Thoughts, Suicide Attempt, Thor wants to rescue Loki but he is too stubborn, Underage Drug Use
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-06
Updated: 2020-08-05
Packaged: 2021-03-01 23:53:35
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 4
Words: 4,150
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23505664
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Creepy_Crawl3r/pseuds/Creepy_Crawl3r
Summary: A series of oneshots consisting of Thorki in an AU universe!
Relationships: Loki/Thor
Series: Thorki Drabbles [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1691311
Comments: 1
Kudos: 15





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Each Drabble correlates with the next. Some will be longer than the others. I decided to branch out of Marvel. Tell me what you think!
> 
> These are written on my phone.

  
  
The other side of the tracks, wrong side of town, the projects. Whatever you want to call it that is where Loki is from. He never truly belonged anywhere in society. His parents dropped him off at the stoop of a family that didn't want him either, so it was straight to the system. Loki bounced from home to home that couldn't handle his issues and decided he wasn't worth the fight. It wasn't new, rejection will never be a new thing for him. 

Loki raised the hood of his sweater and pulled the strings to tighten it. He shoved his hands into the pockets of his too big jeans and hunched in on himself. Another day of looking for a place to sleep, a place to eat or at least to score so he could forget he didn't have the latter. 

He looked up from the pavement he walked on to cross the desolate street of his neighborhood. It was composed of condemned businesses and boarded up homes that cluttered the low income area. No one could get out. No one could escape this life if they were born into it. Loki was living proof. 

The walk led to the same place it always did. An abandoned house that now served as a home for addicts and scum. A place to score a bit of anything your heart desired. Loki's choice had always been heroin but as of late he couldn't afford it. It wasn't like he really ever could with no job and no money but he finally decided his self respect was worth more than the high. 

Loki walked up the steps of the house and they creaked loudly despite the lack of weight his body held. He sniffled and wiped his nose with his sleeve before he knocked on the door. He heard music from inside and the shuffling of movement before the door swung open.

He stepped back when the smell from inside invaded his nostrils and he scrunched up his nose. The aroma of human filth would never be something he could get used to. 

"Well, if it isn't my little pretty boy." 

The hand that freed a lock of black hair from his hoodie belonged to a man named Jay. He had no idea if that was his real name but it was what everyone called him. Jay was all of 6"4, red dreads flowed past his shoulders and his eyes were a set green. 

He stepped to the side and guided Loki in with a hand nestled at the middle of his back. 

"It's been awhile, hasn't it? We have a new face...if you're interested?" 

Loki knew very well what Jay was implying. A new body that he could allow to violate his if he wanted heroin. Trade his dignity to forget the awful life he woke up to everyday. 

Loki took in the living room he had stepped into. A couch that belonged on a curb was occupied by a woman who was unconscious. A thin film of sweat covered her slack face. Beer cans, liquor bottles, trash and cigarettes butts littered every available surface. The air was heavy with smoke and he couldn't take a deep breath without either gagging or coughing. 

"You having second thoughts? The door is right there?" The hand moved further up to the back of his neck and Loki swallowed nervously when it slightly squeezed. 

"N-no, you know I need it. I'm here, right?" 

Loki had gone a while without heroin, coping with withdrawals by substitution but it wasn't enough. His mental stability wasn't strong enough to overcome the suicidal thoughts, the desperation that burnt through him like fire. The pills were enough to ease the pain and to knock him out but once he was awake the cycle just repeated itself with hallucinations and the incessant voices that drove him to the brink of insanity. 

"Good, good. Let me take you to him." 

"Him? It's a him?" 

Jay laughed and ushered the hesitant Loki through the dilapidated house. 

"Can't get cold feet now..you've come this far, love." 

The top of the stairs felt like an entire separate world. The music was muffled, the air clear and the lack of trash was a pleasant relief to Loki's senses. 

Jay left him at a closed door and simple instructions. "Just knock, he knows what you want." 

The knot he swallowed was thick enough to choke. 

**_You need this._ **

_But at what cost?_

**_Stop acting like you're even worth self-respect._ **

_I've never..I can just go back and find something else._

**_Yea, go back to where? You have nothing. At least with this you can forget your lack of worth._ **

Loki squeezed his eyes shut, took a deep breath and knocked on the door. 

"Come in." 

He slowly opened the door and it creaked like every other part of the house. 

Loki walked in with his eyes still shut and closed the door behind him. He rested his forehead on the door and tried to even his breathing but he was dangerously close to hyperventilating. 

"How old are you?" 

Loki laughed but it was pitiful and transformed into a broken sob. No one had ever bothered to ask that question. 

"Fif-fifteen." 

He felt the man's presence behind him, the heat of his body lined his own. A hand encompassed the balled up fist that was held tightly against his side. 

"Why are you even here? I usually don't judge or try to set someone straight but why?" 

He turned to face the stranger but whatever response he was going to retort with fell away. The piercing blue eyes, the chopped short blonde hair and scarred face stopped him mid process. 

He was beautiful, he was achingly perfect and it froze him in his tracks. 

"Thor, my name is Thor. You want Tar, yea?" 

"I..um...I want..uh.." It was a string of nonsense he couldn't piece together. 

The man….Thor scoffed. "Well, those were all definitely words." As he turned and walked away. 

Loki stumbled forward to follow him across the room and with little hesitation pulled his sweater off, leaving it a heap on the dirty floor. 

The track scars on his arms spoke for themselves and the other man winced. He grabbed his wrist and caressed the alabaster skin mottled with imperfections. 

"You're so young." 

Loki scowled with disdain. "I'm not here for judgment. I'm not here to be saved and.." Thor's lips found his and he jutted a tongue into his mouth. Thor tasted like bad vodka and cigarettes but his lips were soft and plush. The stubble on his face tickled his smooth skin. 

He wasn't sure what was happening, what he had gotten himself into and he didn't know if he wanted it to stop or if he could stop it. 

Thor pulled away and kissed his forehead. 

"Leave this place and never come back." 

"Wha-what? No, no, I need it. Do what you want!" Loki fumbled at the button of his jeans and big hands grabbed both of his. 

"Do you not get what you're doing to yourself?" 

Loki pushed him away and fetched the sweater off the ground. "What fucking type of dealer tries to set someone straight? Whatever you're doing, I'm done." 

He rushed out of the room and down the stairs. Thor followed but for the sake of saving face didn't chase after him. 

Loki needed to get out and away. He shouldn't have come but how was he supposed to know that would happen? How was he supposed to know he would finally find someone who saw...him. 

"Loki, what's up kid?" His 'friend' Hela stopped him when she blocked the entrance of the house. "I just need out. Get out of the way." He pushed her to the side and ran down the steps and the sidewalk. 

When he reached the end of the road and came up to the four way he stopped running. He drug his hands down his face and let a sigh shake through his body. The cold sweats had set in and he had nothing to combat the onslaught that was about to wreck his body and mind. 

**_Why the fuck did you run?_ **

Loki scrunched up his face and let out a muffled scream into the crook of his arm. 

**_What are you going to do now?_ **

  
  
  
  



	2. Chapter 2

It was all a little too much. The sound of the passing cars, the brush of the wind against his feverish skin. Loki had nowhere to go besides underneath the overpass and huddled in on himself against the concrete column. 

A few other homeless people crowded around each other in conversation casting occasional glances in his general direction. 

Even amongst the unwanted he had no place. 

Loki needed to crawl into a hole somewhere and just disappear. He wouldn't be missed, no one would mourn him if he just...stopped existing. It was such a simple solution. 

He scrambled to his unsteady feet and paused to allow the world to stop spinning around him. Everything disoriented him at the moment. The small act of breathing threw everything off kilter. 

The destination was the top of the overpass. He could take a single step off the ledge and everything would end for him. He would no longer have to wake up and fall asleep on an empty stomach. The concrete would no longer be his bed, be his only home. It could all end. 

Loki paused at the barrier once he reached the top. It was a long way down, at least a good 30 feet. He didn't want to regret it once he took the leap but what was there to leave behind? Nothing and no one. What to regret? His life was going nowhere and not getting any better. 

He placed his hands on the barrier and began to pull himself up but his arms were too weak. 

Tears welled up in his eyes. He couldn't even kill himself properly. 

An arm wrapped around his waist and he yelped in surprise when it lifted him up. 

"Wh-what are you doing!?" 

He struggled to turn around. 

"This is what you want, right? You want to give up?" 

It was Thor. The man's face was torn with pain for a stranger, for Loki, when he barely knew him. 

Loki wriggled in his grasp and tried to break free. 

"How did you find me? Put me down!" 

Thor dropped him and he fell to the ground. The concrete barrier thudded against his head hard enough to make him dizzy. 

"You won't give me my fucking fix but you'll help me kill myself?" He sniveled like a child. Tears freely flowed, his nose ran and his bottom lip quivered. "Why are you doing this to me?" 

Thor crouched down in front of him and wiped away the tears with the sleeve of his jacket. 

"Because you're a fucking idiot." 


	3. Chapter 3

The bar was dimly lit and the air heavy with cigarette smoke. It was mostly empty being close to last call. All the barstools were vacant besides the one Loki sat on at the end of the bar. 

The corner he sat in was shrouded in darkness so he could remain hidden from any wandering eyes.

The bartender walked up to him and planted the whiskey bottle in front of him.

"Last shot and you gotta go." 

Loki looked up from the empty shot glass. He hadn't realized it was empty, he hadn't realized he was even still there. Loki had gotten pretty good at disassociating and drowning in his mind. 

"Yea.." He sagged into the stool and hung his head. This wasn't the future he had envisioned for himself. Actually, he hadn't envisioned a future at all because he didn't expect to live past the age 20. 

The bartender topped off the glass and he quickly shot it back with a hiss. He threw a 20 on the bar and got to his unsteady feet. The room swayed a bit around him and he pinched the bridge of his nose. 

"You good to drive?" 

Loki scoffed. "If I owned a car? No." 

He shrugged on his jacket and walked out into the crisp air. The ring of the bell when the door shut startled him. Loki looked around for cautions sake but no one was there. 

"You're a fucking idiot." He slicked back his black hair and shoved hands into the side pockets of his jacket. It wasn't too cold to walk home tonight. It actually was a bit sobering. 

When he got home the door of his apartment was slightly cracked open. 

"Funny, I thought I locked that…" 

He nudged it open and switched the light on before he fully entered the front room. No one. No one was there. He wanted to let go of the breath he held but he hadn't searched the rest of the apartment yet.

Loki slipped off his shoes to muffle his footsteps and quickly snuck into the kitchen for a knife. Growing up in the projects made him paranoid but rightfully so. 

He made his way to the living room, turning on the lights as he went. 

"Good to know some things haven't changed." 

The voice was familiar but...it couldn't be. 

He swung around, knife in hand, to face the man he hadn't seen in years. 

"Still a fucking idiot." 

The knife clattered to the floor with a clang when it hit the ground. 

Thor stood before him with the same warm smile and the same twinkle in his eyes. Loki wanted to be relieved he was alive, wanted to be happy that he came back but he couldn't.

All he could feel was anger for being abandoned. Thor got him clean, nurtured him back to sanity with promises of love then just left.

"Where the fuck did you go? You make a habit of just leaving people you love?" 

Loki picked up the knife and walked it back to the kitchen. He took the time to breathe through the panic. He had dreamt of this moment and prayed it would happen. He had a whole plan of what he would say and what he would do. Loki knew it wouldn't come to fruition, though. 

He could barely breathe past the anxiety and anger let alone calmly talking through his emotions. 

"You didn't need me anymore, Loki. I did what needed to be done and you needed to move on." 

Loki scoffed in response. "Yea, that wasn't for you to decide. You don't promise someone the world and then leave with it." 

He avoided eye contact with Thor by all means. He always drew Loki in with those big, blue pools and he didn't feel like drowning himself in something else tonight.

"Just leave, alright? I had things I wanted to say when you first left but it's been years. There is no place here for you anymore. No vacancies." 

Thor grabbed the hand that hung at his side and massaged the knuckles with his thumb. 

"You have someone new?" 

Loki retracted his hand and left Thor in the kitchen. He opened the door of his apartment for the man to leave. 

"No, no one could take the place you made for yourself." 


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> No beta for this and it was hastily done on my phone. I’m sorry if you notice any mistakes.

The heroin was an old friend that embraced him with heavy and warm arms. The tourniquet fell away when he loosened it and slouched into the couch. Loki's eyes fluttered closed and head rolled to the side when the drug nestled into his core and he passed out. 

_ Doesn't this feel so much better?  _

Sobriety was overrated. The lure of a numb escape away from reality was one he could never resist. Loki had tried for years, there had been many  _ this is its _ and  _ I promise, I'll changes.  _ He couldn't change, though. It was something rooted in his soul that he would never be able hide from. 

Consciousness came to him in small flashes of imagery. His cell endlessly rang and pierced the silence he had finally achieved. It took tremendous effort to open his eyes, to lift his head and to take the first deep breath that burned his lungs. Loki dislodged the needle that had found its way back into his arm and ignored the trail of blood that dribbled down. 

He reached for his phone that laid miles away on the coffee table in front of him. 

_ Text message from Thor  _

The audacity of that man. How did he get Loki's number? 

**_He knows where you live, how hard would it be to get your number?_ ** __

"You have a point." 

Fuck. The voices are back. 

**_Oh Loki, how desperate are you for companionship? Am I not good enough for you?_ **

Loki groaned and kneaded at his temples with the heel of his hands. 

"Shut up…" 

His cell pinged again. 

_ I miss you _

Loki strained to widen his eyes so he could see the time in the corner of his screen. Ten in the morning? 

**_Another binger and another day late for work. You're really racking up those achievements._ **

"Piss off." 

He didn't mean to relapse, he didn't mean to obsess over what ifs and what could have beens. Yet, here he was again- stuck at rock bottom. 

Loki drug his hands down his face before he struggled to his feet. His phone continued to go off so he muted the notifications.

If Thor hadn't come back into his life and reminded him of all the shit he left behind this wouldn't have happened. It was so much easier to blame his weak resolve on someone else. In reality, he was still alive because of Thor. Loki doubted he would have lived this long without the other man’s help. 

He needed to shower. Loki was covered in a thin coat of sweat that had his clothes stuck to his body like a second skin. He didn’t want to go to work. Honestly, Loki didn’t even want to leave the house. He wasn’t fit for human company of any sort. 

Loki padded barefoot to the bathroom and the sudden brightness when he turned on the light blinded him. He shielded his eyes as he approached the mirror and allowed time for them to adjust to the difference. When he finally dropped his hand the sight of his own reflection turned his stomach. 

It wasn’t a stranger, no, more like an old friend he hadn’t seen in years. It was just an older version of the broken boy he used to be. Sunken in eyes, ashen skin and a rough stubble covered his face. 

**You really going to use him as an excuse? You’re just weak, Loki.**

He sent the contents of the bathroom counter flying with a sweep of his arm. 

“Shut up, it's his fault!” 

Loki inhaled and exhaled sharply as the spike of anger subsided. He couldn’t do this again. He wasn’t strong enough to come back from it all if Thor walked in and disappeared again. 

He pulled the phone out of his pocket and groaned when he saw 20 unread messages. Thor was many things and persistent was at the top of the list. 

“I’m worried about you.” 

“Take a few minutes to just talk to me, Loki.” 

“You were piss drunk. A new vice is just as bad.” 

Loki scoffed. The man had balls. He bullied his way back in and had the nerve to judge his actions? 

“You don’t have any right. Which would you rather have? An alcoholic or someone strung out?” 

A lead weight sunk in his stomach.  _ Loki  _ didn’t have the right to get angry at Thor’s judgements or assumptions. He had fresh track marks for the first time in years. What was he arguing for? The other man was right. He always was. 

“Fine. We can talk. Come later tonight.” 

**——————————————————-**

**10 p.m**

Loki put on a fresh pot of coffee. He had struggled to claw out of the mental fog all day. It had been the first time he had used in a while and it was taking a toll on his entire body. 

He threw away the needle, the tourniquet and his supply earlier that night. He would not allow himself to go down that path again. 

Loki sat at the kitchen table with his head hung and staring into the half empty coffee cup.Thor still hadn’t shown up. Maybe he had a change of heart? Maybe he realized it was a mistake to come back? 

It wouldn’t be the first time Thor did something like that and by the looks of it now, it wouldn’t be the last. 

**11 p.m**

A knock on the door startled Loki awake. He had fallen asleep with his head nestled in his arms on the table. He checked the time on the stove and heavily sighed as he stood up. The smallest action hurt his sore muscles. 

Thor stood in the doorway after it was opened for him and Loki walked back to the kitchen table. 

“You going to sit? Or are you standing there for an easy escape?” 

He finally shut the door behind him and paused at the table before he sat down. Thor’s face was torn with what Loki could only assume was pain, maybe fear? 

“I didn’t think you would agree to this.” 

Loki took a sip of the cold coffee. He chewed on his bottom lip and finally answered. 

“I didn’t think I would either.” 

The tension between them was palpable. One could probably reach out and feel the wall of resentment and regret that had found its way between them. 

What were they doing? Where could this possibly go? 

“What do you want? Why did you come back?” 

Loki said coldly.

His capacity to care about the other man was thin. Thor had discarded him like a broken doll and moved on to something new. His plaything had reached its limit of usefulness. 

“I wanted to say I’m sorry, Loki. I shouldn’t have left.” 

**Can you believe this guy?**

**Does he really think you still love him?**

**Tell him to leave, Loki.**

**Yea, Loki, all you need is us!**

“Shut up! How many times do I have to say be quiet!?” 

Loki faltered once he realized his retort was spoken out loud. Thor initially stared at him wide-eyed and then reached out to grab one of his hands. 

“They’re back?” 

He closed his eyes and breathed slowly to regain composure. 

“It isn’t that big of a deal. You don’t need to get all worked up about it.” 

Thor scoffed with disbelief. 

“Yes, because ignoring your mental illness and self-medicating has always worked out well for you. Maybe I’m thinking of someone else?” 

Loki pinched the bridge of his nose. Thor was going to do it. He was going to worm his way back in to fix him all up and then leave. It’s a beautiful pattern that has destroyed Loki over and over. Why can’t the man just let him go? 

“I don’t want your help. That isn’t why I asked you to come over.” 

“Then why? Why did you invite me if it wasn’t to rescue you from yourself again? I can’t think of any other reason.” Thor shrugged and leaned back into his chair. 

**Ah, there it is, Loki.**

**He thinks he’s better than you.**

**He wants to be your knight in shining armor again.**

**Maybe he’s lonely!**

Loki felt a nervous breakdown coming on. He had so much he wanted to say and no words to get it out. There was no way to describe how abandoned and helpless he felt after Thor left him. 

The man couldn’t begin to understand the pain he went through and how much he blamed himself for being left behind. It just wasn’t something Thor was capable of, emotions escaped him like sobriety did Loki. 

“Are you going to say something?” 

The silence had begun to affect him. He couldn’t read Thor then and he couldn’t read him now. His thought process was impenetrable. 

“I loved you, Loki. I loved you in a way I shouldn’t have. You were just a kid.” 

Loki chuckled to himself and even to him it sounded dry and empty. 

“Yea, but that didn’t stop you, did it? Maybe your will isn’t as strong as you think because I remember many times it failed you.” 

Whenever he closed his eyes he still remembered how it felt. He remembered the feeling of Thor holding him, his perverted hands that jaded Loki’s body. It wasn’t the first time Loki had let an adult use him but with Thor...with Thor it felt so much different. 

“I don’t remember you protesting. I don’t even remember hearing the word  _ no.”  _

Loki flashed a tight lipped smile and stood up from the table. 

“Time for you to go. I can’t do this.” 


End file.
